Updated: Apr 9, 2021
Do you have things you wish you could change about yourself? Do you struggle with accepting certain aspects of your lifestyle?
If you answered yes to any question, my friend, you are not alone. The key to changing anything is to first accept the current condition.
Self-Acceptance is something rarely talked about today and it is so important for our mental health. Overwhelming feelings of unworthiness and unfulfillment leads to stress, anxiety, and depression. But how do you accept something you do not like or agree with? Keep reading...
First, let's define Self Acceptance. It's more than a sentence but a catalog of things to be aware of regarding self. You become aware of your true self - good, bad, strengths, and weaknesses to accept them. Not just to say "oh, I know, this is just the way I am" but to position yourself to make improvements on the area you have now allowed yourself to see clearly and accept the facts in it. Self-Acceptance is simply accepting the facts about who you are.
You need to pay attention to your thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and patterns and accept them as is. Once you accept you become more WILLING to make the necessary changes.
Below are a few things I had a hard time accepting but have now accepted with no doubt, shame, guilt, fear, worry, etc attached. IT IS WHAT IT IS!
Acceptance is the First Step To Change
I had to accept that I had trauma, although I didn't understand it. I've learned how to process my experiences to heal from things affecting my thoughts, beliefs, and emotions.
I had to accept that I was beautiful on the outside too. Growing up, my family made a lot of jokes about the way I looked so I always thought I was just "ok". I would always say "I'm just average" until I decided to accept my looks just the way they were. I began to fall in love with all my features, especially the gap between my teeth.
I had to accept that I had daddy issues. I didn't know my biological father and the father figures in my life didn't show up for me the way I wanted them to. These issues manifested as reoccurring problems in all my relationships. Now that I'm aware, I no longer project those insecurities or expectations on to the men I date.
I had to accept that I'm a territorial friend, so I'm skeptical of my friend's new friends because I don't like people hurting those I love. Now that I've accepted that, I can control my thoughts or reactions when they make new friends.
I had to accept that I love with no boundaries. Once I love you, I love you, no matter what and...that's...toxic. This explained why some relationships lasted longer than they should have. So I'm learning how to love with healthy boundaries now.
I had to accept that I had a hard time receiving love. Love and affection weren't really shown growing up. So now I allow myself to feel the excitement or joy I feel when love is coming my way instead of hiding it or doing something awkward.
I had to accept that although I may have a solution my response isn't always necessary. I've learned to allow others to talk and wait to be asked for my opinion.
I had to accept that I agree to do things that I really don't want to do just to make other people happy or to maintain my "dependable" reputation. I started owning my "no". If I can't do something or I genuinely don't feel like doing it, I'm not going to. I was tired and drained while others were getting refreshed, Nah. Sacrificing myself will only give me a burden too heavy to carry.
I had to accept that my spiritual journey doesn't look like others and that's OK! I had a hard time accepting my detachment from the religious idea of Christianity but the bible is a tool used on my journey. I am spiritual and not religious, I accept all religions, just find God. I am no one to judge another's practice with their connection to the highest divine power. I am also not obligated or required to conform or attach religion to my identity, I connect with God the way I do, period.
I had to accept that I will fail, everything I do won't be perfect. I now treat my failures as lessons.
I had to accept that I am worthy of all I desire and nothing is hindering me. My fear, doubt, shame, and worry was putting limitations on how I viewed myself. I now remind myself of my worth daily to combat those negative thoughts when they come.
I had to accept that I could be a millionaire. My upbringing in poverty was dictating my future! My goals were so small compared to my capabilities. This allowed me to dream HIGHER.
There are so many other things I had to accept but I'm not trying to keep you reading all night. lol
See, I had to first accept in order to see myself more clearly. The ability to see with clarity caused me to come face to face with my truths and change what didn't serve me well. When I started accepting, I started to truly love who l was because my darkness was becoming a thing of the past. Acceptance allowed me to release the burden that had so much power over my mind. It released me from the pressure caused by others that I put on myself.
Accept --> See Cleary --> Detach From Things No Longer Serving You Well.
So take the time to look at the things about yourself that you are struggling to accept. What do you wish you'd stop doing? What area of your life brings you the most shame, fear, worry or doubt? What part of your physical do you wish you could change? First, Accept it, IT IS WHAT IT IS, then look at the truth in what you see, and let go of the parts hindering you. Acceptance allows you to make room for new thoughts, ideas, and behaviors that serve you well.
Unconditional self-love starts with SELF- ACCEPTANCE.
Until Next Time,
Your Courageous Queen