Updated: Apr 9, 2021
On the self-worth journey, there are so many ups and downs emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically. There are so many beliefs that you challenge as you grow and evolve into your full self. Seeing things for what they truly are vs what you were taught to believe.
This journey will lead you to your freedom but you may lose things or people along the way. You won't necessarily be hurt about these losses because you'll see the bigger picture. (Well maybe you'll hurt as it's happening but eventually, you accept) It's all about being you, choosing you, loving you, taking you into consideration first, standing up for you, speaking your truth, and connecting to the divine the way you want to.
Remember, YOU set the value for your worth so everything you do or say speaks to your value.
Since you define your worth you must get comfortable with your value. Sometimes we will lower our value to make something or someone else more comfortable. Well, that ends today!!
Ask yourself "Why?" before you even think about lowering your value!
When we find the balls to ask ourselves, "Why are you doing that?", " Why are you thinking about that?", "Why did you just agree to do that?" , "Why did that make you feel like this/that?", etc we position ourselves to be vulnerable about the truth. We make room to uncover the fear attached to our thoughts or actions that led us to lower our value instead of honoring our worth.
I use to always put others before me despite how I felt or what I had to do for myself. If you needed help with something, celebrating a milestone, or just needed to talk I was ya girl!! Then, one day I asked myself a question that changed my entire perspective regarding my value.
Why do you show up for other people when people don't show up for you? I immediately responded with "because we are supposed to value others above ourselves" Philippians 2:3 for reference
Well, how do you value others above yourself if you don't first define your value? (At this point, I realized that I was talking to spirit and not myself lol)
Though we are called to serve we are not supposed to serve ourselves last. How can we truly serve and be there for people if we don't first be there for ourselves? The people we help get a watered-down version of who we truly are because we have yet to discover what love and value look like in our own eyes. We have not done the work to see ourselves the way God sees us so how can we possibly see the true value in another?
So because we don't value ourselves enough to do what's best for us we settle. We settle for showing up in hopes of being seen. We settle for poor relationships because we haven't loved ourselves unconditionally to know we deserve better. We settle because those before us didn't know their worth and we learned from their habits. We settle because we don't truly believe we are worth the desires of our hearts. Simply put, we settle because we are afraid of what others may think about us.
But baby let me tell you! I've done the work to find my worth and you can't pay me to settle!!
I am worth more than rubies and gold. I am a queen who serves herself first so that others receive the overflow. I communicate from a place of love so when I am asked to do something for someone and I can't because I already had plans, I allow my love to override the fear of judgment.
When I own my worth and honor my value, I teach others how they can too. As I honor myself I show others that saying no is ok, taking time for you is ok, and being your full self comes with peace and freedom. I no longer feel obligated to show up for others or worry about how some may view me because I'm aware that the work I've done is rare. In the world we live in, finding your worth and owning your power is rarely encouraged so why would I allow someone who hasn't been where I've gone to dictate my value?
Those for you will always be there so the fear we create only holds us back from discovering our value. As you embark on your self-worth journey, know that shit happens for shifts to happen. So if you lose people, you'll gain new people who honor your value. If you feel crazy at times, it's just because you're evolving into a better you. If you feel uncomfortable choosing you in the beginning, just remember it's a new thing and eventually, you'll get used to it.
I wrote this post to encourage anyone struggling to choose themselves to know that it's a worthwhile journey. I have bad moments instead of bad days now. I LIVE in gratitude and peace. I've become so much more creative because I gave myself permission to be me. To be free.
So start by asking yourself the hard, "WHY?" questions to open yourself up to new perspectives and new beliefs as you journey to define your worth.
Until Next Time,
Your Courageous Queen
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