Updated: Apr 9, 2021
Why do you think people are obligated to respond to you?
About a week or 2 ago, I was upset with my best friend because I sent a text and she didn't respond, like at all, and I was pissed on the inside even though I knew why she didn't respond. See God has shifted us into a different season and we honor our spirit over man. So there are times we are called to isolation to receive what he has for us. This is our first time really limiting our conversations in the past 2.5yrs. We literally talked or texted every day even though she's in Michigan and I'm in Tx. We now talk when our menstrual cycle comes, which ironically has been on the same day. (TMI? Sorry! It just came out as I was typing lol)
Even though I knew this, understood this, and was ok with it, why was I so pissed!? I kept having to intentionally redirect my focus and shift my energy daily which was so not cool! The way I felt was really uncomfortable for me so I knew I had to deal with it, below is a journal entry I wrote on 2-17-2020 to myself regarding releasing those negative feelings.
Courageous Queen, what do you need to release?
*(Grammar police, not today!!)
I need to release the idea that people in a relationship with me are obligated to respond to me in a timely matter. I need to release this idea because it gives people power over my emotions.
1. YOU GIVE YOUR POWER AWAY
I give them power when I expect them to respond. Setting expectations for people is me giving them power over me because if they do not meet those expectations I get upset and it's nobody's fault but mine. I can only hope for a response and not take it personally when I don't get one back, truth is, I like controlling people that way.
I love power so putting expectations on those in a relationship with me makes me feel powerful when they obey my desires or way of doing things. Until today, I've had the wrong assumptions. I thought I had power but I give it away the moment I do something with expectations.
Expectations = a belief that someone will or should achieve something.
Expectations = Power
Pretty much. lol
2. YOU LOSE CONTROL OVER YOUR DESIRED OUTCOME
When I expect something from someone I give them the power to achieve my desired outcome which should only be expected of spirit to deliver. Man can't make me achieve my desires, only spirit can.
When I depend on nothing but spirit, I submit my power to the divine. When I depend on man I submit my power to man. I now know that controlling other people's responses by setting expectations for them is actually weakening myself. I control no one and no one controls me. I must release my ideal of control because ultimately I am the one being controlled by my expectations.
3. RELEASE THE NEED TO CONTROL
The need to control everything is the exact reason why I question everything. I typically like to control the outcome but that idea no longer serves me. The outcome is up to spirit, I can only express my desires and rely on spirit. My job is to create, plan, and submit my control to spirit so that I know where my power lies and can trust that the outcome will be for my greater good, response or no response.
When we move with expectations we rob ourselves of the opportunity to see what God is doing in our lives. The expectation that people in relationship with me NEED to respond in a timely manner showed me that I was really giving them the power to control my emotions. When I expect anything from anyone or anything outside of God to deliver my desired outcome I will always allow my emotions to be controlled by something else. The only thing I want to have control over my emotions is THE MOST HIGH, DIVINE, GOD.
Proverbs 16: 3 NIV "Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans"
What expectations do you need to release to take your power back?
I'd love to hear about it below.
Until Next Time,
Your Courageous Queen
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